Week 12: A Massive Ten Places

No internet in Australia

Manager of the Week, Adriana Chittelborough, scored a 'normous 23 points.  Not ony is the week's point tally 'normous but her team's league position-jump is also 'normous.  Chuffin' 'normous to be more specific. And to be even more specific... ADFC climb up a massive ten places in the league.

Foof.

Ms Chittelwhatsit was unable to comment from her holiday home in Australia.  Only because they don't have internet down under yet.

Nick Reed, on the other hand, takes his torn half of the Manager of the Week certificate much less dramatically as Stay Poyet Stay! joins Adriana Chittelthingy's ADFC on 23 points.

'Spect.

T h e   T a b l e

                                            Value Points

   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot

 --------------------------------------------------------

 1 Norma Snockers FC      Sarah Bingham       53.8 13 132

 2 Sheep City             Martyn Field        54.5  6 125

 3 Johnny's Heroes        Sarah-Jane John     54.6 12 116

 4 Shivam's Sneakers      Shivam Mehta        54.9  2 111

 5 Stay Poyet Stay!       Nick Reed           52.2 23 109

 6 Livercoolio            Russell Bielby      54.2 21 107

 7 Chi'Knees Czechers     Jirka Opatrny       55.0 15 105

 8 Moobchester United     Jon King            54.2  5 104

 8 Decimated Left Peg     Neil Jukes          55.0 15 104

10 Big Mally              Malcolm Pratt       54.7 19 103

11 ADFC                   Adriana Chittelboro 54.9 23  99

11 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             55.0  4  99

13 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton        54.9 13  97

14 Moreton United         Edgar Rayner        54.2 10  96

14 BM Mingmongs           Neil McConaghy      54.7 20  96

16 All Hail The Chairman  Rob Ivison          53.6  7  91

17 Real McDrid            Craig McHugh        55.0 13  90

18 RS T-Boy               Rick Beecroft       54.1  7  89

19 The WWMC               Steve Tierney       54.2  9  88

20 Upmintster United      Minty Colquhoun     54.1 19  86

20 Double's United        Rachel Jones        54.8 15  86

20 Woolyback Town AFC     Guy Harewood        54.9  8  86

23 Vonder Bramen          Alan Betteridge     49.5 11  84

23 Poyekhali              Lester Clark        55.0  6  84

25 Pathetic Athletic      Mark Weavers        53.7 13  81

26 Lashings of Cheese     Chris Walsh         54.9  3  75

27 Phillham               Filip Vejdovský     54.8  4  72

28 Freddie's Dreamers     Francis Fox         55.0 10  70

29 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        53.3  5  65

30 Pompey Puss            Lionel Larking      55.0 12  58

31 It's A Snickers        Ashley Keeler       54.8 10  57

32 Real Mannsdid          Dan Manns           55.0 -4  55

33 Moanchester            Alex Blundell       54.8 15  48

34 Wardy's Wanderers      Gavin Ward          54.5  6  42

34 Irishpool              Mike Smears         55.0  8  42

                          Week's Average Points        10

                          Total Average Points         87

---

Week 11: Good Sheep, Bad Schandau

While out on a scouting mission for German talent, Our Chairman did find himself having a steamy session with a naked Dresden girl.  The naked local, who was also sitting next to her hunked-up boyfriend in the Steam Room at Bad Schandau quickly and coolly left without so much as raising an eyebrow of complaint at the awkward British repression on show. And talking of British Repression, Sheep City's Martyn Field [cough, choke] has decided to score enough points to push his team on to the top spot with Ms Bingham.

Manager of the Week with a team's score of 13 points is Alun Edwards of Radnorshire Tigers.

Everybody stare at Mike Smears... minus five.  Tut tut.


T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Norma Snockers FC      Sarah Bingham       53.8  7 119
 1 Sheep City             Martyn Field        54.5  8 119
 3 Shivam's Sneakers      Shivam Mehta        54.9 10 109
 4 Johnny's Heroes        Sarah-Jane John     54.6 11 104
 5 Moobchester United     Jon King            54.2  7  99
 6 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             55.0  2  95
 7 Chi'Knees Czechers     Jirka Opatrny       55.0 -3  90
 8 Decimated Left Peg     Neil Jukes          55.0  4  89
 9 Stay Poyet Stay!       Nick Reed           52.2  9  86
 9 Livercoolio            Russell Bielby      54.2  3  86
 9 Moreton United         Edgar Rayner        54.2  5  86

12 All Hail The Chairman  Rob Ivison          53.6  3  84
12 Big Mally              Malcolm Pratt       54.7 12  84
12 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton        54.9 10  84
15 RS T-Boy               Rick Beecroft       54.1  7  82
16 The WWMC               Steve Tierney       54.2  5  79
17 Woolyback Town AFC     Guy Harewood        54.9  6  78
17 Poyekhali              Lester Clark        55.0  1  78
19 Real McDrid            Craig McHugh        55.0  0  77
20 BM Mingmongs           Neil McConaghy      54.7  2  76
20 ADFC                   Adriana Chittelboro 54.9  7  76
22 Vonder Bramen          Alan Betteridge     49.5 -1  73
23 Lashings of Cheese     Chris Walsh         54.9  5  72
24 Double's United        Rachel Jones        54.8  4  71
25 Pathetic Athletic      Mark Weavers        53.7 -4  68
25 Phillham               Filip Vejdovský     54.8  5  68
27 Upmintster United      Minty Colquhoun     54.1  9  67
28 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        53.3 13  60
28 Freddie's Dreamers     Francis Fox         55.0  3  60
30 Real Mannsdid          Dan Manns           55.0  6  59
31 It's A Snickers        Ashley Keeler       54.8 -2  47
32 Pompey Puss            Lionel Larking      55.0  6  46
33 Wardy's Wanderers      Gavin Ward          54.5  3  36
34 Irishpool              Mike Smears         55.0 -5  34
35 Moanchester            Alex Blundell       54.8  1  33




                          Week's Average Points         4
                          Total Average Points         76
---

Week 09 & 10: Torn to Shreds

Defence not doing its job

Promising defensive reputations were torn to shreds this week as too many managers, optimistically scanning up and down their respective team sheets, see players register minus points.

For example, Alex Blundell's Moanchester gives their manager something to, well, moan about by giving away 7 whole points, pulling themselves to the bottom of the pile.  All Hail The Chairman's Rob Ivison isn't feeling too cocky either as his sycophantically named team fall to joint tenth by losing 5 points.

In more encouraging news however, an amazing score of 20 points for ADFC helps Adriana Chittelborough to her first ever Manager of the Week certificate. Studmarks has been reassured that the much coveted and highly fictional certificate will hang invisibly on her parlour wall.

[Adopts cockney accent/gait...]

...Be lucky

T h e   T a b l e

                                            Value Points

   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot

 --------------------------------------------------------

 1 Norma Snockers FC      Sarah Bingham       53.8  1 112

 2 Sheep City             Martyn Field        54.5  7 111

 3 Shivam's Sneakers      Shivam Mehta        54.9  2  99

 4 Johnny's Heroes        Sarah-Jane John     54.6 -2  93

 4 Chi'Knees Czechers     Jirka Opatrny       55.0  2  93

 4 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             55.0  5  93

 7 Moobchester United     Jon King            54.2 -1  92

 8 Decimated Left Peg     Neil Jukes          55.0  8  85

 9 Livercoolio            Russell Bielby      54.2 -1  83

10 All Hail The Chairman  Rob Ivison          53.6 -5  81

10 Moreton United         Edgar Rayner        54.2  2  81

12 Stay Poyet Stay!       Nick Reed           52.2  5  77

12 Real McDrid            Craig McHugh        55.0 11  77

12 Poyekhali              Lester Clark        55.0  0  77

15 RS T-Boy               Rick Beecroft       54.1 -3  75

16 Vonder Bramen          Alan Betteridge     49.5 -3  74

16 The WWMC               Steve Tierney       54.2  2  74

16 BM Mingmongs           Neil McConaghy      54.7  1  74

16 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton        54.9  4  74

20 Pathetic Athletic      Mark Weavers        53.7  0  72

20 Big Mally              Malcolm Pratt       54.7  5  72

20 Woolyback Town AFC     Guy Harewood        54.9 10  72

23 ADFC                   Adriana Chittelboro 54.9 20  69

24 Double's United        Rachel Jones        54.8  4  67

24 Lashings of Cheese     Chris Walsh         54.9 13  67

26 Phillham               Filip Vejdovský     54.8  2  63

27 Upmintster United      Minty Colquhoun     54.1  8  58

28 Freddie's Dreamers     Francis Fox         55.0  2  57

29 Real Mannsdid          Dan Manns           55.0  8  53

30 It's A Snickers        Ashley Keeler       54.8  1  49

31 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        53.3  1  47

32 Pompey Puss            Lionel Larking      55.0 -1  40

33 Irishpool              Mike Smears         54.5  5  38

34 Wardy's Wanderers      Gavin Ward          54.5  0  33

35 Moanchester            Alex Blundell       54.8 -7  32

                          Week's Average Points         3

                          Total Average Points         71

Week 8: Abominable

Norma Snockers HQ

Norma Snockers are still on top, resting on the shoulders of Sheep City who bleating away in second.  They are the first teams past the 100 point mark this season with the chasing pack not far behind.

What's that Shivam's Sneakers?  Only 6 points this week?  Yeah.  Only 6.

Only 6.

Manager of the Week is our foppishly fluffy feline friend, and current OFFL Champion, Lionel Larking.  He paw-swiped his team to a week's bowlful of 26 points and continues to mount his defence of the title.  Which has never been successfully defended in 15 years by the way.

Everyone stare at Minty Colquhoun, Adriana Chittelborough, Alun Edwards and Gavin Ward as they fall past you.  All plummet six places in the table. The Plummeting Humpty Numpties.

---
And finally, we remember James Wyse, Manager of Didcot Academicals in 2000/2001 season, who died last month.  He was telling his usual terrible jokes to the very end.  Like this one...

What do you call a male cattle that's just swallowed some semtex?

A bomb in a bull.


T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Norma Snockers FC      Sarah Bingham       53.8 12 111
 2 Sheep City             Martyn Field        55.0 16 104
 3 Shivam's Sneakers      Shivam Mehta        54.9  6  97
 4 Johnny's Heroes        Sarah-Jane John     54.6 13  95
 5 Moobchester United     Jon King            54.2 10  93
 6 Chi'Knees Czechers     Jirka Opatrny       55.0 11  91
 7 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             55.0 18  88
 8 All Hail The Chairman  Rob Ivison          51.7 16  86
 9 Livercoolio            Russell Bielby      54.2 20  84
10 Moreton United         Edgar Rayner        54.2 11  79

11 RS T-Boy               Rick Beecroft       54.1 13  78
12 Vonder Bramen          Alan Betteridge     49.5 20  77
12 Decimated Left Peg     Neil Jukes          55.0 13  77
12 Poyekhali              Lester Clark        55.0  8  77
15 BM Mingmongs           Neil McConaghy      55.0 22  73
16 Stay Poyet Stay!       Nick Reed           52.1  8  72
16 Pathetic Athletic      Mark Weavers        53.7 20  72
16 The WWMC               Steve Tierney       54.2 13  72
19 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton        54.9 11  70
20 Big Mally              Malcolm Pratt       54.7  4  67
21 Real McDrid            Craig McHugh        55.0  8  66
22 Double's United        Rachel Jones        54.8 17  63
23 Woolyback Town AFC     Guy Harewood        54.9 20  62
24 Phillham               Filip Vejdovský     54.8  9  61
25 Freddie's Dreamers     Francis Fox         55.0 13  55
26 Lashings of Cheese     Chris Walsh         54.9 16  54
27 Upmintster United      Minty Colquhoun     54.1  5  50
28 ADFC                   Adriana Chittelboro 54.9  5  49
29 It's A Snickers        Ashley Keeler       54.8 12  48
30 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        54.4  6  46
31 Real Mannsdid          Dan Manns           55.0  8  45
32 Pompey Puss            Lionel Larking      55.0 26  41
33 Moanchester            Alex Blundell       54.8 24  39
34 Wardy's Wanderers      Gavin Ward          54.5  4  33
34 Irishpool              Mike Smears         54.5 14  33




                          Week's Average Points        12
                          Total Average Points         68