Week 20: Three Managers. Again.

Kevin Keegan in this year's OFFL Cup Prize

Another week with three claimants to the highly coveted Manager of the Week certificate. Many of you out there will be exasperated to learn that it STILL isn't your turn to be certified when you find out that the high scoring managers this week are Norma Snockers FC, Chi'Knees Czechers and BM Mingmongs. Meaning Sarah BingBong, Jirka O'Pat-Knee and Neil McConaghy have all steered their teams to 24pts.

Massive.

The OFFL HQ have refused to comment on the scandalous rumours, aimed at the current league leading manager Sarah Bingham, of 'child abuse' with the presentation of a potato. According to reports the child, Amelia, claimed that she "did be good". Officials are analysing the video evidence presented here...

 

OFFL Cup coming soon.
 
T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Norma Snockers FC      Sarah Bingham       54.7 24 229
 2 ADFC                   Adriana Chittelboro 54.0 17 208
 3 Chi'Knees Czechers     Jirka Opatrny       55.0 24 204
 4 Sheep City             Martyn Field        54.5 20 203
 5 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             54.8 13 199
 6 Livercoolio            Russell Bielby      54.2 16 197
 7 BM Mingmongs           Neil McConaghy      54.7 24 196
 8 Decimated Left Peg     Neil Jukes          55.0 22 195
 9 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton        55.0 19 194
10 Upmintster United      Minty Colquhoun     54.1 15 191
11 All Hail The Chairman  Rob Ivison          53.6 19 190
12 Big Mally              Malcolm Pratt       54.7 14 178
13 Stay Poyet Stay!       Nick Reed           52.2 10 176
14 Johnny's Heroes        Sarah-Jane John     54.6  6 172
15 Shivam's Sneakers      Shivam Mehta        54.9  9 171
16 Moreton United         Edgar Rayner        54.2 20 170
16 Poyekhali              Lester Clark        55.0 13 170
18 Real McDrid            Craig McHugh        55.0 16 166
19 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        53.3 20 165
19 Double's United        Rachel Jones        54.8 11 165
21 Lashings of Cheese     Chris Walsh         54.9 17 161
22 Phillham               Filip Vejdovský     54.8 10 160
22 RS T-Boy               Rick Beecroft       55.0 13 160
24 The WWMC               Steve Tierney       54.2 11 158
25 Moobchester United     Jon King            53.5  7 152
26 Woolyback Town AFC     Guy Harewood        54.9 19 149
27 Vonder Bramen          Alan Betteridge     49.5 10 143
28 Freddie's Dreamers     Francis Fox         55.0  8 140
29 Irishpool              Mike Smears         55.0 15 126
30 Real Mannsdid          Dan Manns           55.0 12 125
31 Pompey Puss            Lionel Larking      55.0  9 116
32 Pathetic Athletic      Mark Weavers        53.7  4 113
33 It's A Snickers        Ashley Keeler       54.8 14 111
34 Moanchester            Alex Blundell       54.8  4 100
35 Wardy's Wanderers      Gavin Ward          54.5  8  84


                          Week's Average Points        14
                          Total Average Points        163

Week 19: Three Managers

I know, Gary... THREE managers of the week.

There are three managers who have to share the Manager of the Week certificate this week. Yes. I said three.

What was that? Who are they? Of course. They are Dave Clayton, Rachel Jones and Alun Edwards. Their Shamone Muddy Funksters, Double's United and Radnorshire Tigers respectively all nip off with 22 points each.

Impressive, huh?

How's Wardy's Wanderers getting on?... ah.

We can see you, Edgar Rayner.


T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Norma Snockers FC      Sarah Bingham       54.7 14 205
 2 ADFC                   Adriana Chittelboro 54.0  6 191
 3 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             54.8 15 186
 4 Sheep City             Martyn Field        54.5 19 183
 5 Livercoolio            Russell Bielby      54.2 18 181
 6 Chi'Knees Czechers     Jirka Opatrny       55.0 14 180
 7 Upmintster United      Minty Colquhoun     54.1  7 176
 8 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton        55.0 22 175
 9 Decimated Left Peg     Neil Jukes          55.0  6 173
10 BM Mingmongs           Neil McConaghy      54.7 18 172

11 All Hail The Chairman  Rob Ivison          53.6 20 171
12 Stay Poyet Stay!       Nick Reed           52.2 13 166
12 Johnny's Heroes        Sarah-Jane John     54.6 14 166
14 Big Mally              Malcolm Pratt       54.7  5 164
15 Shivam's Sneakers      Shivam Mehta        54.9 11 162
16 Poyekhali              Lester Clark        55.0 13 157
17 Double's United        Rachel Jones        54.8 22 154
18 Moreton United         Edgar Rayner        54.2  0 150
18 Phillham               Filip Vejdovský     54.8 12 150
18 Real McDrid            Craig McHugh        55.0  2 150
21 The WWMC               Steve Tierney       54.2  7 147
21 RS T-Boy               Rick Beecroft       55.0 20 147
23 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        53.3 22 145
23 Moobchester United     Jon King            53.5 17 145
25 Lashings of Cheese     Chris Walsh         54.9 12 144
26 Vonder Bramen          Alan Betteridge     49.5 11 133
27 Freddie's Dreamers     Francis Fox         55.0 11 132
28 Woolyback Town AFC     Guy Harewood        54.9 12 130
29 Real Mannsdid          Dan Manns           55.0 11 113
30 Irishpool              Mike Smears         55.0 15 111
31 Pathetic Athletic      Mark Weavers        53.7 16 109
32 Pompey Puss            Lionel Larking      55.0 14 107
33 It's A Snickers        Ashley Keeler       54.8 11  97
34 Moanchester            Alex Blundell       54.8 14  96
35 Wardy's Wanderers      Gavin Ward          54.5  0  76




                          Week's Average Points        12
                          Total Average Points        149
---

Week 18: Ward's withering

Thanks to some expertly executed transfers, Rick Beecroft is this week's Manager of the Week. His RS T-Boys notched up an impressive 21 points.

And everyone look at Gavin Ward's Wardy's Wanderers. Fallen three places to the very bottom of the pile. By scoring nothing. NOTHING. You ARE your score.







T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Norma Snockers FC      Sarah Bingham       54.7 20 191
 2 ADFC                   Adriana Chittelboro 54.0 17 185
 3 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             54.8 12 171
 4 Upmintster United      Minty Colquhoun     54.1 10 169
 5 Decimated Left Peg     Neil Jukes          55.0 14 167
 6 Chi'Knees Czechers     Jirka Opatrny       55.0 13 166
 7 Sheep City             Martyn Field        54.5 12 164
 8 Livercoolio            Russell Bielby      54.2 11 163
 9 Big Mally              Malcolm Pratt       54.7  8 159
10 BM Mingmongs           Neil McConaghy      54.7  9 154

11 Stay Poyet Stay!       Nick Reed           52.2 11 153
11 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton        55.0 19 153
13 Johnny's Heroes        Sarah-Jane John     54.6 16 152
14 All Hail The Chairman  Rob Ivison          53.6  8 151
14 Shivam's Sneakers      Shivam Mehta        54.9 18 151
16 Moreton United         Edgar Rayner        54.2 10 150
17 Real McDrid            Craig McHugh        55.0 13 148
18 Poyekhali              Lester Clark        55.0 18 144
19 The WWMC               Steve Tierney       54.2  8 140
20 Phillham               Filip Vejdovský     54.8 14 138
21 Double's United        Rachel Jones        54.8 14 132
21 Lashings of Cheese     Chris Walsh         54.9  2 132
23 Moobchester United     Jon King            53.5  1 128
24 RS T-Boy               Rick Beecroft       55.0 21 127
25 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        53.3 19 123
26 Vonder Bramen          Alan Betteridge     49.5 12 122
27 Freddie's Dreamers     Francis Fox         55.0 18 121
28 Woolyback Town AFC     Guy Harewood        54.9  3 118
29 Real Mannsdid          Dan Manns           55.0  6 102
30 Irishpool              Mike Smears         55.0  9  96
31 Pathetic Athletic      Mark Weavers        53.7  8  93
31 Pompey Puss            Lionel Larking      55.0 14  93
33 It's A Snickers        Ashley Keeler       54.8 14  86
34 Moanchester            Alex Blundell       54.8 13  82
35 Wardy's Wanderers      Gavin Ward          54.5  0  76




                          Week's Average Points        11
                          Total Average Points        137
---

Week 17: Jirka

Manager of the Week for Week 17 is Jirka Opatrny. And while you try and re-read that name without moving your lips, congratulate 'George' on him steering his Chi'Knees Czechers to a haul of 24 points. Making his team the biggest movers, up seven places into fifth.




 1 Norma Snockers FC      Sarah Bingham       54.7 18 171
 2 ADFC                   Adriana Chittelboro 54.0 22 168
 3 Upmintster United      Minty Colquhoun     54.1 19 159
 3 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             54.8 23 159
 5 Chi'Knees Czechers     Jirka Opatrny       55.0 24 153
 5 Decimated Left Peg     Neil Jukes          55.0 14 153
 7 Livercoolio            Russell Bielby      54.2 13 152
 7 Sheep City             Martyn Field        54.5  9 152
 9 Big Mally              Malcolm Pratt       54.7 19 151
10 BM Mingmongs           Neil McConaghy      54.7 19 145

11 All Hail The Chairman  Rob Ivison          53.6 15 143
12 Stay Poyet Stay!       Nick Reed           52.2 10 142
13 Moreton United         Edgar Rayner        54.2  9 140
14 Johnny's Heroes        Sarah-Jane John     54.6  7 136
15 Real McDrid            Craig McHugh        55.0 16 135
16 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton        55.0 10 134
17 Shivam's Sneakers      Shivam Mehta        54.9  7 133
18 The WWMC               Steve Tierney       54.2 11 132
19 Lashings of Cheese     Chris Walsh         54.9 13 130
20 Moobchester United     Jon King            53.5 10 127
21 Poyekhali              Lester Clark        55.0 14 126
22 Phillham               Filip Vejdovský     54.8 11 124
23 Double's United        Rachel Jones        54.8 10 118
24 Woolyback Town AFC     Guy Harewood        54.9  7 115
25 Vonder Bramen          Alan Betteridge     49.5  6 110
26 RS T-Boy               Rick Beecroft       55.0  2 106
27 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        53.3 15 104
28 Freddie's Dreamers     Francis Fox         55.0  5 103
29 Real Mannsdid          Dan Manns           55.0 12  96
30 Irishpool              Mike Smears         55.0 19  87
31 Pathetic Athletic      Mark Weavers        53.7  6  85
32 Pompey Puss            Lionel Larking      55.0  8  79
33 Wardy's Wanderers      Gavin Ward          54.5 12  76
34 It's A Snickers        Ashley Keeler       54.8  5  72
35 Moanchester            Alex Blundell       54.8  3  69




                          Week's Average Points        12
                          Total Average Points        125

Week 16 Shivam Shoots Himself in the Sneakers

The Fall of the Sneakers

Remember Shivam Mehta? Top of the league and all lah-di-dah at the start of the season? The swaggering Fancy Dan giving it all that early on?

Yes.  Of course you do.

Well his Shivam's Sneakers are the farthest fallers as they plummet down six places into fourteenth.  Mid-table mediocrity.

As promised.

Manager of the Week is Edgar Rayner with his Moreton United scoring 21pts propelling themselves into tenth.

There's a change at the top too.  Sheep City have been replaced by Norma Snockers FC at the top while ADFC continue their march up to second.

T h e   T a b l e

                                            Value Points

   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot

 --------------------------------------------------------

 1 Norma Snockers FC      Sarah Bingham       53.8 16 153

 2 ADFC                   Adriana Chittelboro 54.0 18 146

 3 Sheep City             Martyn Field        54.5  5 143

 4 Upmintster United      Minty Colquhoun     54.1 12 140

 5 Livercoolio            Russell Bielby      54.2  9 139

 5 Decimated Left Peg     Neil Jukes          55.0 17 139

 7 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             54.8 16 136

 8 Stay Poyet Stay!       Nick Reed           52.2  9 132

 8 Big Mally              Malcolm Pratt       54.7 11 132

10 Moreton United         Edgar Rayner        54.2 21 131

11 Johnny's Heroes        Sarah-Jane John     54.6  3 129

11 Chi'Knees Czechers     Jirka Opatrny       55.0 11 129

13 All Hail The Chairman  Rob Ivison          53.6 15 128

14 BM Mingmongs           Neil McConaghy      54.7 11 126

14 Shivam's Sneakers      Shivam Mehta        54.9  4 126

16 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton        55.0  8 124

17 The WWMC               Steve Tierney       54.2 17 121

18 Real McDrid            Craig McHugh        55.0 14 119

19 Moobchester United     Jon King            53.5 12 117

19 Lashings of Cheese     Chris Walsh         54.9 19 117

21 Phillham               Filip Vejdovský     54.8 17 113

22 Poyekhali              Lester Clark        55.0  6 112

23 Double's United        Rachel Jones        54.8  7 108

23 Woolyback Town AFC     Guy Harewood        54.9 14 108

25 Vonder Bramen          Alan Betteridge     49.5  9 104

25 RS T-Boy               Rick Beecroft       54.1  7 104

27 Freddie's Dreamers     Francis Fox         55.0 13  98

28 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        53.3  8  89

29 Real Mannsdid          Dan Manns           55.0 15  84

30 Pathetic Athletic      Mark Weavers        53.7  0  79

31 Pompey Puss            Lionel Larking      55.0  4  71

32 Irishpool              Mike Smears         55.0 18  68

33 It's A Snickers        Ashley Keeler       54.8  0  67

34 Moanchester            Alex Blundell       54.8  9  66

35 Wardy's Wanderers      Gavin Ward          54.5  7  64

                          Week's Average Points        10

                          Total Average Points        113

---

Week 15: Minty's Wins weekly Certificate

Manager of the Week is the gorgeously wonderful Minty Colquhoun. Her 19 points propel Upmintster United mintsterUp seven places, from eleventh to fourth. The certificate is yours, Ms Colquhoun.


T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Sheep City             Martyn Field        54.5  3 138
 2 Norma Snockers FC      Sarah Bingham       53.8  3 137
 3 Livercoolio            Russell Bielby      54.2 16 130
 4 ADFC                   Adriana Chittelboro 54.0  6 128
 4 Upmintster United      Minty Colquhoun     54.1 19 128
 6 Johnny's Heroes        Sarah-Jane John     54.6 11 126
 7 Stay Poyet Stay!       Nick Reed           52.2 12 123
 8 Shivam's Sneakers      Shivam Mehta        54.9  4 122
 8 Decimated Left Peg     Neil Jukes          55.0  4 122
10 Big Mally              Malcolm Pratt       54.7 13 121

11 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             54.8  4 120
12 Chi'Knees Czechers     Jirka Opatrny       55.0  5 118
13 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton        55.0 18 116
14 BM Mingmongs           Neil McConaghy      54.7 10 115
15 All Hail The Chairman  Rob Ivison          53.6 16 113
16 Moreton United         Edgar Rayner        54.2  7 110
17 Poyekhali              Lester Clark        55.0  9 106
18 Moobchester United     Jon King            53.5  0 105
18 Real McDrid            Craig McHugh        55.0  9 105
20 The WWMC               Steve Tierney       54.2  1 104
21 Double's United        Rachel Jones        54.8  7 101
22 Lashings of Cheese     Chris Walsh         54.9  5  98
23 RS T-Boy               Rick Beecroft       54.1  9  97
24 Phillham               Filip Vejdovský     54.8  8  96
25 Vonder Bramen          Alan Betteridge     49.5  7  95
26 Woolyback Town AFC     Guy Harewood        54.9  4  94
27 Freddie's Dreamers     Francis Fox         55.0 12  85
28 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        53.3  6  81
29 Pathetic Athletic      Mark Weavers        53.7  6  79
30 Real Mannsdid          Dan Manns           55.0  3  69
31 It's A Snickers        Ashley Keeler       54.8  5  67
31 Pompey Puss            Lionel Larking      55.0  0  67
33 Wardy's Wanderers      Gavin Ward          54.5  8  57
33 Moanchester            Alex Blundell       54.8  8  57
35 Irishpool              Mike Smears         55.0  2  50




                          Week's Average Points         7
                          Total Average Points        102

Week 13: Martyn's Just Trumped

Adriana is flying high

We have a new leader.  Let me take you to him...

Martyn Field, Sheep City manager, has triumphantly trumped last fortnight's personal achievement of progressing back to work after serious illness by reaching the top of the Office Fantasy Football League table.  He finally looks down at Sarah Bingham's Norma Snockers...

...this stuff writes itself, I tell you.

And another shared Manager of the Week certificate gets torn in two between Minty Colquhoun and yes, for the third week out of four, Adriana Chittelbummer.  Their Upmintster Utd and ADFC, respectively, both score 23 points each.  Ms Chittelchittelbangbang's ADFC are now flying high in third [finger in the ear, microphone pressed up under the nose...] "Remarkable!".

What else have we got for you? ...Highest Climbers: Upmintster Utd [up 9], Lowest Fallers: RS T-Boy [down 6].

Oi vey.  We see Mark Weavers' ball has popped just as his wife is about to do the same. -8. That's an unbelievably bad score. Pathetic. Athletic.  Good Luck.

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Sheep City             Martyn Field        54.5 10 135
 2 Norma Snockers FC      Sarah Bingham       53.8  2 134
 3 ADFC                   Adriana Chittelboro 54.0 23 122
 4 Shivam's Sneakers      Shivam Mehta        54.9  7 118
 4 Decimated Left Peg     Neil Jukes          55.0 14 118
 6 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             54.7 17 116
 7 Johnny's Heroes        Sarah-Jane John     54.6 -1 115
 8 Livercoolio            Russell Bielby      54.2  7 114
 9 Chi'Knees Czechers     Jirka Opatrny       55.0  8 113
10 Stay Poyet Stay!       Nick Reed           52.2  2 111

11 Upmintster United      Minty Colquhoun     54.1 23 109
12 Big Mally              Malcolm Pratt       54.7  5 108
13 Moobchester United     Jon King            54.2  1 105
13 BM Mingmongs           Neil McConaghy      54.7  9 105
15 The WWMC               Steve Tierney       54.2 15 103
15 Moreton United         Edgar Rayner        54.2  7 103
17 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton        54.9  1  98
18 All Hail The Chairman  Rob Ivison          53.6  6  97
18 Poyekhali              Lester Clark        55.0 13  97
20 Real McDrid            Craig McHugh        55.0  6  96
21 Double's United        Rachel Jones        54.8  8  94
22 Lashings of Cheese     Chris Walsh         54.9 18  93
23 Woolyback Town AFC     Guy Harewood        54.9  4  90
24 Vonder Bramen          Alan Betteridge     49.5  4  88
24 RS T-Boy               Rick Beecroft       54.1 -1  88
24 Phillham               Filip Vejdovský     54.8 16  88
27 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        53.3 10  75
28 Pathetic Athletic      Mark Weavers        53.7 -8  73
28 Freddie's Dreamers     Francis Fox         55.0  3  73
30 Pompey Puss            Lionel Larking      55.0  9  67
31 Real Mannsdid          Dan Manns           55.0 11  66
32 It's A Snickers        Ashley Keeler       54.8  5  62
33 Wardy's Wanderers      Gavin Ward          54.5  7  49
33 Moanchester            Alex Blundell       54.8  1  49
35 Irishpool              Mike Smears         55.0  6  48




                          Week's Average Points         7
                          Total Average Points         94

Week 12: A Massive Ten Places

No internet in Australia

Manager of the Week, Adriana Chittelborough, scored a 'normous 23 points.  Not ony is the week's point tally 'normous but her team's league position-jump is also 'normous.  Chuffin' 'normous to be more specific. And to be even more specific... ADFC climb up a massive ten places in the league.

Foof.

Ms Chittelwhatsit was unable to comment from her holiday home in Australia.  Only because they don't have internet down under yet.

Nick Reed, on the other hand, takes his torn half of the Manager of the Week certificate much less dramatically as Stay Poyet Stay! joins Adriana Chittelthingy's ADFC on 23 points.

'Spect.

T h e   T a b l e

                                            Value Points

   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot

 --------------------------------------------------------

 1 Norma Snockers FC      Sarah Bingham       53.8 13 132

 2 Sheep City             Martyn Field        54.5  6 125

 3 Johnny's Heroes        Sarah-Jane John     54.6 12 116

 4 Shivam's Sneakers      Shivam Mehta        54.9  2 111

 5 Stay Poyet Stay!       Nick Reed           52.2 23 109

 6 Livercoolio            Russell Bielby      54.2 21 107

 7 Chi'Knees Czechers     Jirka Opatrny       55.0 15 105

 8 Moobchester United     Jon King            54.2  5 104

 8 Decimated Left Peg     Neil Jukes          55.0 15 104

10 Big Mally              Malcolm Pratt       54.7 19 103

11 ADFC                   Adriana Chittelboro 54.9 23  99

11 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             55.0  4  99

13 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton        54.9 13  97

14 Moreton United         Edgar Rayner        54.2 10  96

14 BM Mingmongs           Neil McConaghy      54.7 20  96

16 All Hail The Chairman  Rob Ivison          53.6  7  91

17 Real McDrid            Craig McHugh        55.0 13  90

18 RS T-Boy               Rick Beecroft       54.1  7  89

19 The WWMC               Steve Tierney       54.2  9  88

20 Upmintster United      Minty Colquhoun     54.1 19  86

20 Double's United        Rachel Jones        54.8 15  86

20 Woolyback Town AFC     Guy Harewood        54.9  8  86

23 Vonder Bramen          Alan Betteridge     49.5 11  84

23 Poyekhali              Lester Clark        55.0  6  84

25 Pathetic Athletic      Mark Weavers        53.7 13  81

26 Lashings of Cheese     Chris Walsh         54.9  3  75

27 Phillham               Filip Vejdovský     54.8  4  72

28 Freddie's Dreamers     Francis Fox         55.0 10  70

29 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        53.3  5  65

30 Pompey Puss            Lionel Larking      55.0 12  58

31 It's A Snickers        Ashley Keeler       54.8 10  57

32 Real Mannsdid          Dan Manns           55.0 -4  55

33 Moanchester            Alex Blundell       54.8 15  48

34 Wardy's Wanderers      Gavin Ward          54.5  6  42

34 Irishpool              Mike Smears         55.0  8  42

                          Week's Average Points        10

                          Total Average Points         87

---

Week 11: Good Sheep, Bad Schandau

While out on a scouting mission for German talent, Our Chairman did find himself having a steamy session with a naked Dresden girl.  The naked local, who was also sitting next to her hunked-up boyfriend in the Steam Room at Bad Schandau quickly and coolly left without so much as raising an eyebrow of complaint at the awkward British repression on show. And talking of British Repression, Sheep City's Martyn Field [cough, choke] has decided to score enough points to push his team on to the top spot with Ms Bingham.

Manager of the Week with a team's score of 13 points is Alun Edwards of Radnorshire Tigers.

Everybody stare at Mike Smears... minus five.  Tut tut.


T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Norma Snockers FC      Sarah Bingham       53.8  7 119
 1 Sheep City             Martyn Field        54.5  8 119
 3 Shivam's Sneakers      Shivam Mehta        54.9 10 109
 4 Johnny's Heroes        Sarah-Jane John     54.6 11 104
 5 Moobchester United     Jon King            54.2  7  99
 6 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             55.0  2  95
 7 Chi'Knees Czechers     Jirka Opatrny       55.0 -3  90
 8 Decimated Left Peg     Neil Jukes          55.0  4  89
 9 Stay Poyet Stay!       Nick Reed           52.2  9  86
 9 Livercoolio            Russell Bielby      54.2  3  86
 9 Moreton United         Edgar Rayner        54.2  5  86

12 All Hail The Chairman  Rob Ivison          53.6  3  84
12 Big Mally              Malcolm Pratt       54.7 12  84
12 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton        54.9 10  84
15 RS T-Boy               Rick Beecroft       54.1  7  82
16 The WWMC               Steve Tierney       54.2  5  79
17 Woolyback Town AFC     Guy Harewood        54.9  6  78
17 Poyekhali              Lester Clark        55.0  1  78
19 Real McDrid            Craig McHugh        55.0  0  77
20 BM Mingmongs           Neil McConaghy      54.7  2  76
20 ADFC                   Adriana Chittelboro 54.9  7  76
22 Vonder Bramen          Alan Betteridge     49.5 -1  73
23 Lashings of Cheese     Chris Walsh         54.9  5  72
24 Double's United        Rachel Jones        54.8  4  71
25 Pathetic Athletic      Mark Weavers        53.7 -4  68
25 Phillham               Filip Vejdovský     54.8  5  68
27 Upmintster United      Minty Colquhoun     54.1  9  67
28 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        53.3 13  60
28 Freddie's Dreamers     Francis Fox         55.0  3  60
30 Real Mannsdid          Dan Manns           55.0  6  59
31 It's A Snickers        Ashley Keeler       54.8 -2  47
32 Pompey Puss            Lionel Larking      55.0  6  46
33 Wardy's Wanderers      Gavin Ward          54.5  3  36
34 Irishpool              Mike Smears         55.0 -5  34
35 Moanchester            Alex Blundell       54.8  1  33




                          Week's Average Points         4
                          Total Average Points         76
---

Week 09 & 10: Torn to Shreds

Defence not doing its job

Promising defensive reputations were torn to shreds this week as too many managers, optimistically scanning up and down their respective team sheets, see players register minus points.

For example, Alex Blundell's Moanchester gives their manager something to, well, moan about by giving away 7 whole points, pulling themselves to the bottom of the pile.  All Hail The Chairman's Rob Ivison isn't feeling too cocky either as his sycophantically named team fall to joint tenth by losing 5 points.

In more encouraging news however, an amazing score of 20 points for ADFC helps Adriana Chittelborough to her first ever Manager of the Week certificate. Studmarks has been reassured that the much coveted and highly fictional certificate will hang invisibly on her parlour wall.

[Adopts cockney accent/gait...]

...Be lucky

T h e   T a b l e

                                            Value Points

   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot

 --------------------------------------------------------

 1 Norma Snockers FC      Sarah Bingham       53.8  1 112

 2 Sheep City             Martyn Field        54.5  7 111

 3 Shivam's Sneakers      Shivam Mehta        54.9  2  99

 4 Johnny's Heroes        Sarah-Jane John     54.6 -2  93

 4 Chi'Knees Czechers     Jirka Opatrny       55.0  2  93

 4 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             55.0  5  93

 7 Moobchester United     Jon King            54.2 -1  92

 8 Decimated Left Peg     Neil Jukes          55.0  8  85

 9 Livercoolio            Russell Bielby      54.2 -1  83

10 All Hail The Chairman  Rob Ivison          53.6 -5  81

10 Moreton United         Edgar Rayner        54.2  2  81

12 Stay Poyet Stay!       Nick Reed           52.2  5  77

12 Real McDrid            Craig McHugh        55.0 11  77

12 Poyekhali              Lester Clark        55.0  0  77

15 RS T-Boy               Rick Beecroft       54.1 -3  75

16 Vonder Bramen          Alan Betteridge     49.5 -3  74

16 The WWMC               Steve Tierney       54.2  2  74

16 BM Mingmongs           Neil McConaghy      54.7  1  74

16 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton        54.9  4  74

20 Pathetic Athletic      Mark Weavers        53.7  0  72

20 Big Mally              Malcolm Pratt       54.7  5  72

20 Woolyback Town AFC     Guy Harewood        54.9 10  72

23 ADFC                   Adriana Chittelboro 54.9 20  69

24 Double's United        Rachel Jones        54.8  4  67

24 Lashings of Cheese     Chris Walsh         54.9 13  67

26 Phillham               Filip Vejdovský     54.8  2  63

27 Upmintster United      Minty Colquhoun     54.1  8  58

28 Freddie's Dreamers     Francis Fox         55.0  2  57

29 Real Mannsdid          Dan Manns           55.0  8  53

30 It's A Snickers        Ashley Keeler       54.8  1  49

31 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        53.3  1  47

32 Pompey Puss            Lionel Larking      55.0 -1  40

33 Irishpool              Mike Smears         54.5  5  38

34 Wardy's Wanderers      Gavin Ward          54.5  0  33

35 Moanchester            Alex Blundell       54.8 -7  32

                          Week's Average Points         3

                          Total Average Points         71

Week 8: Abominable

Norma Snockers HQ

Norma Snockers are still on top, resting on the shoulders of Sheep City who bleating away in second.  They are the first teams past the 100 point mark this season with the chasing pack not far behind.

What's that Shivam's Sneakers?  Only 6 points this week?  Yeah.  Only 6.

Only 6.

Manager of the Week is our foppishly fluffy feline friend, and current OFFL Champion, Lionel Larking.  He paw-swiped his team to a week's bowlful of 26 points and continues to mount his defence of the title.  Which has never been successfully defended in 15 years by the way.

Everyone stare at Minty Colquhoun, Adriana Chittelborough, Alun Edwards and Gavin Ward as they fall past you.  All plummet six places in the table. The Plummeting Humpty Numpties.

---
And finally, we remember James Wyse, Manager of Didcot Academicals in 2000/2001 season, who died last month.  He was telling his usual terrible jokes to the very end.  Like this one...

What do you call a male cattle that's just swallowed some semtex?

A bomb in a bull.


T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                  Manager            (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Norma Snockers FC      Sarah Bingham       53.8 12 111
 2 Sheep City             Martyn Field        55.0 16 104
 3 Shivam's Sneakers      Shivam Mehta        54.9  6  97
 4 Johnny's Heroes        Sarah-Jane John     54.6 13  95
 5 Moobchester United     Jon King            54.2 10  93
 6 Chi'Knees Czechers     Jirka Opatrny       55.0 11  91
 7 Inter Milandrover      Smasher             55.0 18  88
 8 All Hail The Chairman  Rob Ivison          51.7 16  86
 9 Livercoolio            Russell Bielby      54.2 20  84
10 Moreton United         Edgar Rayner        54.2 11  79

11 RS T-Boy               Rick Beecroft       54.1 13  78
12 Vonder Bramen          Alan Betteridge     49.5 20  77
12 Decimated Left Peg     Neil Jukes          55.0 13  77
12 Poyekhali              Lester Clark        55.0  8  77
15 BM Mingmongs           Neil McConaghy      55.0 22  73
16 Stay Poyet Stay!       Nick Reed           52.1  8  72
16 Pathetic Athletic      Mark Weavers        53.7 20  72
16 The WWMC               Steve Tierney       54.2 13  72
19 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton        54.9 11  70
20 Big Mally              Malcolm Pratt       54.7  4  67
21 Real McDrid            Craig McHugh        55.0  8  66
22 Double's United        Rachel Jones        54.8 17  63
23 Woolyback Town AFC     Guy Harewood        54.9 20  62
24 Phillham               Filip Vejdovský     54.8  9  61
25 Freddie's Dreamers     Francis Fox         55.0 13  55
26 Lashings of Cheese     Chris Walsh         54.9 16  54
27 Upmintster United      Minty Colquhoun     54.1  5  50
28 ADFC                   Adriana Chittelboro 54.9  5  49
29 It's A Snickers        Ashley Keeler       54.8 12  48
30 Radnorshire Tigers     Alun Edwards        54.4  6  46
31 Real Mannsdid          Dan Manns           55.0  8  45
32 Pompey Puss            Lionel Larking      55.0 26  41
33 Moanchester            Alex Blundell       54.8 24  39
34 Wardy's Wanderers      Gavin Ward          54.5  4  33
34 Irishpool              Mike Smears         54.5 14  33




                          Week's Average Points        12
                          Total Average Points         68